Love cannot be forced or fast tracked. Here are some things to consider before jumping into a relationship.
1. The ‘friend zone’ is the best place to be
She needs to be his best ‘boy’ friend and he needs to be her best ‘girl’ friend. What do I mean by that? It’s not a case of letting your partner do what they do and not having a role in it. You need to be best friends, especially if this is the person you’re eventually going to spend the rest of your life with. If your relationship is not based on true friendship it is bound to fizzle out and if anything goes down, your bezzie will have your back. Ride or die style!
2. You need to have the ‘sex factor’
It is detrimental to be in a relationship with somebody you are not physically attracted to. No, it is not conceited; it is being real. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we have the ability to appreciate beauty for a reason. How do you expect to maintain a healthy relationship with someone you don’t want to wake up next to every morning? More than likely you’ll end up either cheating on the person or leaving them when you find someone more attractive and this is not fair on them. Let’s face it, sex is important in a relationship and you can like a person’s personality, but when it comes down to making love you need to be physically attracted to them- either that or the “lights-off” technique will be used a hell of a lot.
3. Tell me something I don’t know!
You need to both be on the same intellectual level. Just like it is important to please the eyes, it is also highly important to please and feed the brain. Isn’t it horrible when you find someone you’re really attracted to, but as soon as they open up their mouth to speak it’s like you’re talking to an infant? These days I’ve managed to clock onto how intellectual a person is merely by observing their grammar in text messages. Spellings like ‘ur’, ‘wen’, ‘dis’ and ‘dat’ are all clear indications, to me, that we are not on the same wavelength. Go read a book or something!
4. Oh… a little human… exit stage left…
You need to decide whether people with children are a no-go-zone. This would not have been an issue 10 years ago but in this day and age it is becoming almost impossible to find someone without child and let me not get started on virgins. Why is it important to decipher whether you want to go there with someone who is already a parent? Because one day you will have your first child and some people would like to know that their partner is going through that for the first time too so you can both share that first time experience together. I myself have a half brother and sister and a full brother and although I am close to my older siblings there is a special bond between my younger brother and me. When I eventually have children of my own I want them to have that same experience.
There are obvious exceptions to the rule such as if their partner died, if they were raped or if you can’t have children yourself. But it is a rule that needs to be thought about. Basically, have kids responsibly cause not every person outchea wants to be a stepparent and it’s not always fair to expect them to be.
5. I believe in miracles. Do you?
The two of you need to connect on a spiritual level. Whether you’re both atheists or Christians or whatever. You both need to be on the same wavelength and preferably of the same understanding. If you’re not, there will be a lot of conflict throughout your relationship because you believe in different things.
I do not for one second believe that relationships are all about compromise. I believe that each and every person on this planet potentially has a soul mate destined for him or her who stimulates their mind, body and soul and has ambitions that support theirs and, when the time is right, they will be brought together. The moment compromise becomes the key aspect of a relationship is the moment both parties have settled and have potentially lost out on the person destined for them. These are not the words of a 21-year-old female who has watched one too many rom-coms. These are the words of a female who has learnt that learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all and is in therefore no rush to compromise.
